Katy Perry & Russell Brand: Another case for a Pre-Nup

This week comedian Russell Brand filed for divorce from pop star Katy Perry.  The two have been married for approximately 14 months. 

Although both were celebrities before the marriage, and had accumulated money, real estate and other items, there was no pre-nuptial agreement between them.  Add to this the fact that Brand is an admitted recovering drug and sex addict and Perry is a (Christian?) party girl and one wonders what these people were thinking by getting married without an agreement on how things would go when/if they split.

In a similar situation this week, Mel Gibson paid his ex-wife over around $425 million, as there was no pre-nup.  Paul McCartney and Heather Mills, Michael Jordan and his ex-wife Juanita, Madonna and Guy Ritchie.  The list goes on and on of people who gamble big at love, marriage and finances and lose big.  At least these (rich) people have the guidance of attorneys, accountants, managers and executives to advise them to get a pre-nup, whereas the average person does not.

But, the reality is that most couples need to consider how the break-up would go.  People who need pre-nups are those who have assets (no matter how small), those who owe money (cars, student loans, mortgages etc), those who have children or plan to have children, and those who plan to acquire things (cars, houses, credit cards) during the marriage.  In short, everyone.

Planning for a break-up does not doom the relationship to failure.  If it is going to fail, it will fail on its own over money, sex, family, children, lack of attention, or any of a thousand other reasons.  All failing to plan does is prevent both parties from adequately preparing for the future.  Instead of waiting for a court to determine who gets what or how much one party will pay another, the couple knows how things will be divided (or have an approximation).

Pre-nups also force couples to consider the devastating consequences of divorce before the wedding.  It may be enough to encourage those hard conversations on children, work, religion, politics, family and money before the wedding, not after it.  Pre-nups require honesty in each person's financial situation as it exists prior to marriage.

Alas, it is too late for Perry & Brand, the Gibsons and McCartney.  They will have to fight it out in court over each and every dime.

Fortunately, this year also saw Kim Kardashian insist on a pre-nup, which came in very handy when her marriage collapsed after just 72 days.  At least she had some good financial advice.

Repacking the Christmas Tree

I spent a chunk of today taking down the Christmas tree, cleaning up the dead needles and repacking all the Christmas decor.  Fortunately, this year, I had help.  But, as usual, what used to fit into one box now does not, and some of the items that had boxes, now seem to be missing packaging.  The missing boxes will probably show up in time for Easter.

I am always amazed at how much Christmas stuff accumulates through the season.  Just when I think I have it all put away, another thing appears to be put away. This year, I have advent presents to add to the mix (we still have an ongoing argument about who gets what). 

Merry Christmas!

Today at the Christmas service, the pastor, after announcing the birth of a baby,  commented on how the congregation should consider the people who have become first time parents this year.  My oldest (foster) daughter remarked to me that he was talking about me!

I had not considered this, but it is true - I am a first time parent.  A parent of a 12 year old and a soon-to-be 5 year old.  Somehow skipping over the midnight changings, diapers and learning to walk and talk didn't make things that much easier.  I still have to think about what I want these children to learn and how I want to reflect a living faith.

It strikes me on Christmas that in the midst of gift-giving and the excitement of family, get-togethers, and good food, that while memorable, it is in the day to day living that true impact is made.  I can preach about loving Jesus, but if my daily life doesn't show a dependence on Him, it may all be for naught.  I can't honor Jesus' birthday in an effective manner if I don't walk the walk the rest of the year.

At times this all feels overwhelming, trying to raise wise, independent, healthy and mature kids who love Jesus.  But it can be done if I focus on the important, eternal things and not the things that will not matter.

Gift Giving Dilemmas

Christmas can be a tough holiday to navigate: we have expectations of ourselves, others and how the holiday should go. 

One part of the equation is gift giving.  While I love giving people things, I hate having to figure out how much and what to give people.  It seems like every year, I'm caught off guard by some acquaintance buying me a token gift.  I certainly appreciate the gesture and the time and effort put into buying me something.  But, I also find that I am then rushing around to reciprocate or feeling crummy for not having a gift for them with me. 

These gift giving dilemmas hit a new level this year with the pre-teen daughter.  She announced that she needed to buy gifts for 6 girls, then 10, then maybe 12.  And she had no idea how much to pay for each gift.  She wanted to buy each a candy bar, but wasn't sure what they were buying her. 

After several discussions about how I wasn't financing gifts for a dozen pre-teens (none of whom have an income), I informed her that if she thought that having a cost limit discussion was too embarrassing, she should wait until I forced her to return any gift she received that was more valuable than a candy bar.  She can't give a cheap gift and keep an expensive one.  This pushed her to discuss the matter with her friends, and then they all decided to draw names and set a monetary limit.  Crisis averted.

But that still leaves me with the surprise friend's gifts.  To solve this problem, I now buy small trinket gifts (decorative glassware items on deep discount) to give as gifts.  Some are even pre-wrapped with blank tags so I can give them on a moment's notice. 

Guess I need to follow my own advice and have these gift discussions before the holiday season.

Una Vocis

Last Saturday, Una Vocis sang our Christmas concert.  I am always amazed at how appreciative people are at our performances. 

For me, it is sometimes hard to hear how well we all sound together.  Part of this is that I am focusing on my notes or music or dynamics or pronunciation.  And, at times, I cannot hear each individual part.

Our most exciting news is that we now have a CD out.  Information is available on the Una Vocis website.

Unforgivable?

One of my clients showed up today wearing a black hat with one word stitched in small letters with gold threat into it.  Reading "Unforgivable," I wondered what would possess someone to wear a hat emblazoned with that word.

It struck me that many of us do walk around with "unforgivable" on our foreheads.  We think that whatever we have done to God, to our family, to our friends is "unforgivable."

But that is not what the Bible teaches.  Rather, if we repent or turn away from our sin, we can be forgiven by God.  Forgiveness from those we have harmed may be more difficult, but it is possible too.

Breaking the Wrecker

The toddler has a vandalism streak.  Anything found can be demolished in short order.  Today, it was a present we were preparing to send to another child.  After ripping out one of the book's sliding figures, there were tears, not because of the damage, but because of the punishment.

In the past, I have taken toys away (all of them at once for a week), refused to allow new clothes (after several crayon episodes), and taken away the item of damage (stickers, crayons etc). 

But this time, I was a bit meaner and more radical.  Let's hope it works.  This time, I took and broke a couple of toys ($2 worth at the dollar store).  Then I made the child write a note of apology to go with the damaged book.  And I took a present the child was to receive and gave sent it with the damaged book.  It was after seeing this present we would now not get that tears finally flowed.  Again, let's hope we've finally hit bottom on this. 

Even as I write this, I'm sure there will be a couple more rounds of damaged item before we finally get beyond this stage.  in the meantime, I may need a few new ideas to get the point across.  I think we finally made progress on saying mean things (another problem we have), so let's hope that this gets the attention it needs.

The Beauty of December

Although I don't like perpetuating the Santa myth, it does come in handy for discipline matters.  If I have a reluctant toddler who does not want to do something, I can threaten that Christmas presents may not arrive.

Today at swimming lessons, I talked to the mother sitting next to me.  She related that her kids were so helpful - doing laundry, cleaning rooms, making beds everyday without being asked and not fighting.  December apparently has that effect on kids.

Ironically, her kid walked up at the end of the lesson and did not want to go see Santa - the thought of meeting the guy keeping score created fear!

Toddler Radar: Presents Under the Tree

During the middle of the week, I spent my lunch hour wrapping a few presents, which I placed under the tree.

When the pre-teen walked in the house after school, the first comment was about the presents.  The toddler did not see them then as  stayed in the car while we grabbed a few things from the house to leave again.

After the basketball game, we got back late.  Toddler had been sleeping in the car and sleepwalked into the house.  Walking by the living room, the first comment out of the half-asleep child was that there were now presents under the tree!  Apparently toddler radar can focus on packages even though the rest of the system is shut down!

NaNoWriMo: A Hiatus

November is National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo- Get it?).  Usually by this point, I am either furiously writing the last five thousand words, have given up or am relaxing after a month of cramming writing into every single spare moment. 

This year, writing was not in the cards. Adding a 4 yr old and a 12 yr old to the house will consume time.  Lots  of time (I actually have to cook things at night - and for breakfast! Laundry has to be done more than once a month.  And they expect me to actually spend time with them). 

I did try to write a poem a day, but gave up when I got a cold that sent me to bed minutes after tucking the oldest in each night.  I did get about 18 or so written, although they are not Nobel Prize winning concoctions at this point.

But I do look forward to the insanity next year.  I will be taking Greek next fall, but managed it with Hebrew last year. 

Maybe I need to consider a biblical greek drama...
Or murder mystery...
Or sci-fi retelling of some bible story...
Or a chic lit look at Jezebel...

The Santa Myth

One thing I inherited with a few other issues through foster care is a toddler who believes in Santa.  The child also believes if an item is written on the Christmas list, it will be received.  That myth I quickly crushed today when it was announced at the store that "I will be getting such and such because I asked for it!"

The Santa myth is another matter.  One reason I do not like encouraging it is because I think it calls into question other things I am trying to instill.  If Santa isn't real, what about Jesus?  Now, typically this wouldn't be my arena as a foster parent, but as a potential adoptive parent, it becomes a bit more my turf.

Right now, I have no plans to smash this myth, but I am hoping that the "Santa isn't real" story goes around preschool - and soon.  Meanwhile, I have put older child on notice that I am not encouraging this Santa thing, neither should they and there will be no gifts from Santa for younger child. 

And already the questions have started.  We saw Santa at a store this weekend, and I was asked where the sleigh was.  And how Santa moved from one place to another so quickly.  I'm not sure it is going to take too long for this to be figured out.  Let's hope it is not as big of a heartbreak as it is for some children.

To Friend or Not to Friend: Facebook Dilemma

Today in my inbox arrived a facebook friend request I've been somewhat dreading: one from birth mom.  It's not that I dislike her or don't want to have contact with her, but I'm not sure I want her to have access to my facebooked life.

I've been weighing the pro's and con's of accepting or declining.  She'd be able to see how the kids are doing and could keep tabs on them without much intrusion or effort on my part.  But she'd be privy to the ups and downs of life too.  When we go on vacations - she'd be able to see.  She'd see how the kids interact with me on facebook. 

What would that create in emotion in her?  Envy?  Joy?  Anxiety?  Do I tell the girls?  How do I keep the girls from finding out if I don't tell them? How do I stop myself from checking up on Her?

So, I'm not making a decision right now.  I need to think this through first.

Discipline

At the Y today, I overheard a Mother and Daughter conversation.

D:  Can I have her come over and stay over night?
M:  No, you didn't clean your room like I asked.  So, no friends over.
D: I promise I will clean it when she leaves.
M: I don't think so.
D: And if I don't then I would lose my TV privileges for 18 months, my phone privileges for 3 months, my X-Box privileges for 6 months and no friend over for a month.
M: (Silence)

I'm not sure how the conversation ended, if the Daughter got her way or not, but it highlighted an important conflict in parenting: Consistency.  Do you follow through with what you threatened? Compromise? Or Cave?

I've already fallen into this trap - where I've told a child not to do something and then the child does it.  Following through is sometimes the last thing I want to do!  For example, I have problems with one child who is a beast to the babysitter (it doesn't matter which one) when it is time for bed.  So, the child was advised that the next time it happened, bedtime would happen before I left the house - even if it was still light outside.  For a few weeks, this threat worked.  But then the child pulled the same old crying, temper tantrum for the sitter.  This week, the child was in bed by 6:30 p.m., before I left the house.  I've already heard that it wasn't much fun, so we'll see if I have to do it again in the future or not (I think it is very likely I will have to do it again!).  I'm hopeful that if I am consistent in doing what I say I will do, the children will not think my if you do this, then that will happen are idle words.

This doesn't mean that I don't struggle with it.  Giving in seems so easy.  But then I see children throwing temper tantrums in the stores and realize I don't want to live that way.

Dark Nights of the Soul

I've never been very mystical.  My spirituality, my Christianity, and my personality do not lend themselves to mysticism.  I'm too practical and logical to be having visions or experiences.

But, lately, I've been fascinated by reading books about "Dark Nights of the Soul."  I've read St. John of the Cross and St. Teresa of Avila.  And now I'm reading about Mother Teresa's struggles.

In many ways, I don't get it.  Whether this is because I've never experienced the ecstasy of mysticism or because I haven't experience the "Night," I don't know.  It is very interesting to know the depths of spiritual longing and pain that some go through.  It is comforting to know that one can remain faithful, even if one is not experiencing God at the optimal level.

It's not that I want to experience the "Night," either, as it sounds like a soul-searing process.  But it appears to leave its mark.

I guess that the books about people failing to make it through are not well read.  But maybe I should be looking at those too!

Current Reads

I haven't updated my reading list for a while.   I always love reading magazines.  I have way too many subscriptions to keep up with right now.

I love Southern Living.  It has the best recipes!  I also love looking at their home ideas and the articles on traveling in southern states.

I also enjoy reading Christian History magazine.  It is now edited by my professor Chris Armstrong, who blogs here.  The last issue was on hospitals and health care - I learned so much.  I can't wait to see what they come up with next.  The hell issue was great too.

I also regularly read Sprint Cars & Midgets, produced by another friend of mine, Doug Auld.  If you enjoy dirt track racing a la World of Outlaws and USAC, this is the magazine for you.  David Argabright, one of my favorite authors, writes a fiction serial for them.

I've been slogging through Bryan Chapell's Christ-Centered Preaching.  While it is a good book, it is a bit heavy for me to constantly read (like I have time to read a lot of extra things anyway!). 

I also started Christopher J.H. Wright's Old Testament Ethics for the People of God.  Again, I need to take time to chew on this as I read it.

One book I cannot put down right now is Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light.   I had put off buying it for awhile because I feared it would be fascinating.  It is.  The book consists of a look at Mother Teresa's life interposing her private correspondence with her confessors, spiritual directors and superiors.  In it, she gives a glimpse at how she felt her relationship with God and Jesus was progressing (mostly along the lines of the "Dark Night of the Soul").  Surprisingly, after her initial calling, she never felt that she connected with Jesus, but she kept pursuing the plan He had given her.

November is National Adoption Month

I've only been a foster parent for a few months, but it is a very rewarding process.  While many people comment that they think it is great that I am a foster mom, they are very reluctant to step up to the plate and do it themselves.

While foster parenting is an imposition to some degree, the rewards outweigh the problems.  First, in Iowa, there is a 10 week training program that answers questions, provides resources and explains the process.  Next, there is  ongoing contact with a social worker, plus information is available through support groups for foster parents.  Naturally, there is medical assistance and financial assistance for the children. 

Truly helping children and families through a difficult time is a great reward. 

Not to mention hugs, kisses and giggles.

How do you get involved?  In Iowa, contact iowakidsnet.com

Need information on other states?  Or want to see some of the children in foster care who are looking for permanent homes?  Try AdoptUSKids.org

Interviewing a New Shepherd

I spent three nights this week interviewing three candidates for our lead pastor position at church.  During the process, I got to know my fellow search team members, and as struck by how each person does ministry differently.

Each of the candidates had a very different personality.  It was interesting to see how experience, life situations and other factors played into how each perceived the challenge of coming to our church.  We also had to disclose the good, the bad and the ugly during the process and put our hopes and dreams for the future on the line.  Can one of these candidates bring about the change the congregation desires?

And how would each candidate's leadership qualities come into play at the church?  Would it be too strident, too laid-back, or just right. 

I haven't had time to speak with the rest of the time yet.  But, I was struck that each of the candidates would probably work at our church, but the bigger question is which one will be best?

Motivation

I've always been self-motivated.  I like get my work done early, think about it and then turn it in.  I don't like the stress of doing something at the last minute, even though at times I have had to do it.

So, I'm completely flustered with the last minute or missed deadline thinking.  And now, I have a child who thinks deadlines are merely suggestions, not a date that means anything. 

Figuring out how to motivate these late -date thinkers is difficult.  On one hand, the pressure seems to be the place they like to go by doing things at the last minute.  On the other hand, it is the procrastination that is the bigger problem, as though by ignoring things they will go away.  I'm sure some of this is the result of transitioning from elementary school to junior high, but it still presents an issue.

As the first quarter of school is ending, I wonder how to make things better next quarter without driving myself and the child crazy!

Fashion Wars

I've been trying to convince the kiddos that winter was coming and that their shorts and tank tops were not going to cut it.  But whenever I brought up the subject as we shopped, it was ignored or outright rejected. 

So I stopped buying summer clothing.  This led to much angst from the preteen.  Meanwhile, the only pants being looked at were skintight.  I promptly informed the kids no more skinny jeans or leggings until we bought another style a few times.  It seemed that the only shirts we could find were either tight, midriff or tank top.  I didn't buy these either!

Today, I enlisted the aid of a few kids who dress in ways I like.  We went shopping and amazingly, the choices selected were much more conservative and more appropriate for school. 

Sneaky.  But effective.

Routines, Schedules & Busy Days

I'm trying to stick with somewhat of a routine or schedule each week. 

I seem to get thwarted by someone getting sick or a doctor's appointment or some special event (conferences, open houses, games etc).  But, it does seem to be working.

In the midst of this, I'm trying to find time to just be together.  Eating dinner.  Watching TV.  Goofing around.  Doing homework (Or coloring if you are under 5).

Sometimes, this leaves me with little time to do things that I think need to be done (like housework!) or have discussions on a variety of topics (sex, manners, character, etc).  I have been able to have a few discussions about these issues as they occur during conversations, TV shows or life events.  I just wish I could be more intentional about it (but that could be my planning strength showing through).

I wonder if the routine and just plain ordinariness of it is why God exhorts the Israelites to remember His saving power.  I know when I am trying to figure out what to cook for dinner (that doesn't have cheese, potatoes, spices in it), I'm not thinking about how complaining about manna in the desert lead the Israelites into major problems (but it might justify my plan to fix cheesy potatoes with extra garlic just to prove those food rules have no power in my house!).

God's Grace Comes First

I'm reading a new book called Old Testament Ethics for the People of God by Christopher J.H. Wright.  I'm only about a chapter into it, but it is a really igniting my passion for the Old Testament.  I think most Christians want to skip over the old stuff and get right to Jesus.  But this misses much of the story.

One of Wright's first points is that God's Grace always comes first.  Before God gives the law to the Israelites, He first saves them from Egypt, leads them to meet with Him, and calls them His people. It's not about keeping the law, but celebrating God's grace to save us.

It is so much easier to view the Old Testament as a collection of old stories, poems, and rules that have no application to me in my life.  Jesus is the answer.  But Jesus himself revered and kept the law.  Recited the stories and poems found in the Old Testament.

I know that I need new eyes to see the whole of the Bible and to apply it to my life.  Hopefully, Wright's book will be a big help in that process.

Bedtime Snacks?

I've never been a fan of bedtime snacks.  In fact, I hate eating after 7:30 p.m. because I find I don't sleep as well as when I eat earlier.  So, when kiddos moved in, they had been used to eating a bedtime snack.  This led us to one issue of adjustment.

I promptly ended that little bedtime ritual.  Now snacks only happen at night when someone is taking medication that needs food to be eaten with it. 

Occasionally, I read other blogs and news stories that expound on how wonderful it is to feed kids before bedtime.  I'm not fully convinced.  It seems like a bad habit to start, when eating before bed is adding calories when metabolism and calorie burning is at its slowest.  If I'm feeding them plenty at dinner, why do I need to add more food a couple hours later before they sleep?

What I've noticed is that once in a while, the kids ask for a snack before bed.  Most of the time, this is after we've discussed food or watched an ad on TV for the latest snack item.  If I ignore it, they forget about the snack and go to bed.  No one has yet woken up in the middle of the night complaining of being hungry.  In fact, I sometimes have to threaten them to eat breakfast because they are not hungry.

The other thing I've noticed is that the snacks they ask for at bedtime are sugar snacks, not healthy ones.  To the extent that they get one, I've made it be carrot sticks, apple slices or  a glass of milk.  Once, when given these choices, the kid decided to not eat anything (I think the hope was for a chocolate chip cookie).

I still wonder if this is the right approach or not, but since the kids seem to be growing at a healthy rate, I'll assume it is.  

Toby Kruse named GM of Knoxville Raceway

On Wednesday, Knoxville Raceway announced that Toby Kruse had been selected by the Marion County Fair Board as general manager and promoter of the raceway.  Kruse will take over from retiring Ralph "Cappy" Capitani at the end of the year.

Kruse has extensive experience in motorsports, ranging from announcing, flagging, occasionally driving, and managing both Marshalltown Speedway and Beatrice Speedway.

As someone who has attended many races at Marshalltown and Knoxville, I am excited that Toby will be taking the helm and I anticipate good things!

Bellingham Bay Half Marathon

I finished the half marathon!

In around 4 hours.

And with only 3 HUGE blisters.

I wasn't sure when I got to mile 8 if I could make it or not, as I started feeling terrible.  But after a couple advil and some extra water, I powered through.

The medal is beautiful.

Tomorrow is the Day!

I'm ready to walk my first 1/2 marathon tomorrow.  The course literally goes over the water at points and the elevation is not too bad (a few hills). 

I'm still hoping that I can finish the race, but giving myself grace in case I don't make it.

The weather forecast is rain and around 65 degrees.  The temp is perfect but the rain would not be so good.

One Week Until Bellingham Bay Half Marathon

In one week, I will be walking in the Bellingham Bay Marathon.  I have done little to NO training, but I figure that it is something I should follow through on.

Ideally, I should be able to walk it in less than 5 hours, right?  I had hoped to be more disciplined in walking and running over the past nine months, but I have not.  When something had to give in my schedule and to keep my sanity, it was the exercise.  I know I need to make some adjustments in this area, but for now, it is what it is.

So, my goal for next week is to finish the race (and get one of the very cool medals!).  But if that doesn't happen, then at least I gave it a shot.

Space Debris Falling to Earth

A defunct satellite is falling to earth.  NASA says that the satellite will disintegrate into 26 pieces, each a potential missile falling to earth.  NASA experts expect it will crash into the ocean, as 70% of the earth's surface is water.

But I wonder when some of this debris is going to fall on land and result in death or destruction.    And I wonder what steps we have taken to prevent this from happening.

The full article is here.

To Glee or Not to Glee, That is the Question

Since adding kiddos to the household, I'm scrutinizing my TV viewing much more closely.

Should kids watch reality TV?  What about police dramas? CSI shows?  At what point does all the blood and guts start effecting them? 

And the final question: Should we watch Glee?

I like Glee.  But I don't completely agree with all the messages the program conveys.  As an adult, I can discriminate between these messages (although I am not immune to the power of these messages either).  But can a child?  Is it a good idea to watch things that clearly conflict with the message from church I want them to catch?

So, these are the questions that I am wrestling with.  Fortunately, the kids have been willing to listen to my suggestions for TV watching.  But now, Spongebob Squarepants has less than stellar reviews...

Recycling Fashion: Who is buying this stuff

Recently I spent some quality time in the youth departments of a number of stores.  The clothing selection leaves much to be desired.

The good news is that if you desire to have your toddler, pre-teen or teenage daughter look like a hooker, you can find it at nearly every store.  If, however, you value modesty and having children look like children, you have your work cut out for you.

This year's styles recycle the 1980's.  Fortunately I lived through that decade and have a good idea what it is supposed to look like.  However, the new spin on the old look of long shirt over leggings is to skip the leggings.  This leaves a long shirt that barely covers the derriere.  Again, who wants to wear this? Who wants to look at it on a 8 yr old? Or a 12 yr old? Or a 28 yr old?

I'm taken aback by the proliferation of lingerie for toddlers.  As most girls don't start to fill out until late elementary school, I am baffled why bras are necessary in the toddler department.  And why some companies are starting to produce very adult looking bra and panties styles in toddler and child sizes?  There are even bikinis for babies.  Why do some think that sexualizing young girls is a good idea?

For little girls, it seems tutus, glitter and pink are in.  The more garish, the better.  Most clothing features peace symbols, which seems to now be devoid of meaning.  I say this because most of the time the peace symbol is on a shirt with Barbie, Hello Kitty, dolphins or palm trees.  I'm not sure what Barbie or Hello Kitty has to do with war and peace, but I'm pretty certain that dolphins are not the animal kingdom equivalent of Genghis Khan and palm trees are not the new poison ivy.

For teens, strapless shirts, spaghetti strap tanks, and short shorts fill the stores.  While some of these things are used as layers, there are a lot of girls walking around with minimal clothing on in part because it is what the stores are selling.  Does a 13 yr old need to look sexy?  Does a 6th grade boy notice these things or are they really for the viewing pleasure of adults?

Shopping for a daughter has become a very difficult process because the choices available in the stores leave a lot to be desired.

Church Business

As my church is in the midst of a pastoral search, we are also taking a look at our "mission statement" and our ministries.  While some of this is good, I have never been a fan of church mission statements.

It seems to me that Jesus was rather clear in what the church was to do in Matthew 28:19-20: "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” 


Why we, as the church, think we need to add or subtract from this statement is beyond me.  The other problem I have with church mission statements is that the idea is stolen from the business world.  The church is not a business!  While there can be good ideas from business that the church should apply (like accountability), mission statements are not necessarily the best idea.  


Mission statements are designed to provide a purpose for the organization.  A way to unify the workers toward a common goal.  Again, it seems that Jesus has already done this for the church in his last directions to his disciples.  When we synthesize our own purposes and ideas of what church should do, we tend to leave out some of Jesus' directives, selecting our favorite ideas like baptism or evangelism or world missions.  

Back to the Choir

With the start of the school year, it also means the start of my choir rehearsal schedule.  I'm very excited to see everyone again (although I saw a few over the summer).  It is hard to believe that we are going to start singing Christmas songs!

I had debated giving up the choir to be home another night with the girls.  However, I decided that keeping a non-child commitment was important, and I really get a lot of enjoyment out of the choir.  My hope is that it will be a good break for all of us.  If it gets to be too much, I can always take the spring off.

Plus, with the Little One going to bed between 7:30 and 8, it wouldn't be much time with her that I miss.  The pre-teen is just as likely to be in her room listening to music or watching TV in the living room as doing something with me.  Perhaps it will give her time to do some 7th grade homework!

Deal Breakers

Since I've added a couple kiddos to the household, I'm quickly learning what my deal-breakers are.  By deal breaker, I mean quirks that drive me crazy!

First, I hate doing laundry.  So, I'm imposing limits on how many towels/underwear/socks can be used each day.  Otherwise, I have one child who thinks 2 towels a day is great, plus 3 pair of underwear and 2 pair socks.  The other has 1 towel, but 2 undies and 3 socks.  At this rate, they are out of undies and socks before noon every other day!

Another deal breaker is the pets.  Little One thinks the dog deserves half of every meal eaten.  Blaze is great with this.  In fact, he parks beneath the chair waiting for his cut.  However, his tummy is not as gracious, and I'm having to clean up messes from an overfull dog.  So, I'm limiting the amount of treats and food he gets.  Both kids are trying to sneak the cats into their beds at night.  This doesn't bother me except that the cats do not stay put, and end up running wild at night instead.  So, Hatteras, the kitten, is locked up in the basement and Indy, the older one, is locked out of some of the rooms.

Neither kid likes "spicy" food.  I love spicy food.  So, I'm trying to figure out how to sneak the spices in, as it appears once they try things, they like them.  We'll see if the Mexican food ban sticks or not.  We also have the typical ages issues: the teen wants to eat to lose weight (although not a pound overweight) so won't eat some "too fattening" things (like celery!), usually saying this as bags of M&M's are eaten, while the toddler doesn't want to eat anything and has to have minimum bites eaten set for each food.

I'm sure other things will crop up, but for now, I'm trying to avoid too many issues and just let the kids be kids.

Wrapping Up Another Quarter

I'm just about done with another seminary quarter.  This quarter featured the diverse classes of Genesis through Ruth and a class on Self in Community. 

By adding two foster care kids this quarter, I feel like this has lasted for a year, not just a few months.  To say I am looking forward to a few weeks break from classes is an understatement.  I need to find a new routine with the kiddos and find some time to clean up a few projects (like say, train for a 1/2 marathon, actually write an in-depth blog post, sleep).  I also have a few old things starting like children's ministries and choir.

But I know that I soon will be looking forward to a new set of classes, even though I am also longing to complete this degree.

9/11 Rememberances

The 10th anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attack is in 3 weeks.  I understand that we want to take time to remember the people who were killed on that date and since in our fight against terrorists.

However, I am already tired of seeing a constant stream of stories about that date.  I suspect that every family who lost someone that date will be interviewed several times about their thoughts and how it feels to be 10 years on.  My guess is that the wound is still fresh and the holes left by the victims have not healed.

I don't need a story a day to remember.  A week's worth of stories would be more than enough and would hit the highlights.

This is akin to finding candy corn in the store at the end of July.  Candy corn is a Halloween treat, and I will be sick of seeing it by the time the leaves turn in another 30 days.

A little of something leaves you wanting more, too much leaves a stomach ache.  I suspect both the 9/11 coverage and the candy corn will leave us all a little sick to the stomach.

Calling me "Mommy"?

Within hours of the start of our first overnight/ weekend visit, the foster kids are calling me "Mommy" and telling me they love me.  I was surprised at how conflicted I was by this.

It isn't that I don't like or want them to call me "Mommy," but I didn't envision this happening until well into our relationship.  I hate it, but I wonder how many other women have been "Mommy" in their lives.  And what expectations they have for me in that role.  I wonder what expectations I have for myself in the role as well. 

As for "I love you," it's like trying to figure out whether to say it back to someone you've been dating for a short time.  It feels false, but does have some element of the truth in it.  So do you answer back the same way or let it go?  I decided to respond but wonder if that is the right thing to do.

After I dropped the kids back at their current home, they called me "Mommy" as I left.  The other "mom" smiled and was excited that they were calling me it.  Fortunately, this is the way things are developing with hopes of a permanent placement.

In the short term, I'm learning to answer to "Mom" and "Mommy" when called.

Back to School: It costs how much?

I spent today buying my foster kids back to school stuff. I'm surprised at how much the schools want them to have.  For example, we needed 2 boxes of kleenex, 3 packages of ruled 3x5 cards, a calculator, graph paper and multiple pencils, notebooks and folders.

Naturally, the kids need clothes too, so we shopped for gym shoes, jeans, and shirts.  For girls, I am always surprised at how sexualized the young girls clothing is: do we really need to see their tummies at age 6?

All totaled, I think I ended up with a couple hundred dollars of stuff.  Let's hope they don't use all the paper, pens and clothing before Christmas!

Foster Parenting: A New Challenge

I've been visiting with a couple foster kids that the state is considering placing at my house.  So far, it has been interesting to get to know kids that I know nothing about.

I've discovered that figuring out what to eat or where and when to run errands takes on a whole new set of questions and issues.  Additionally, the kids are working to figure out the boundaries I have, so we've had a few "testing" episodes.

The benefit is watching them learn to relax and enjoy life.  Their excitement at having a room and toys to play with combined with the idea of a new adventure.  Since school starts soon, everyone is hoping to have the kids moved in within the next couple weeks.  I'm sure a set schedule will help both me and the kids settle into a routine.

Meanwhile, I've been busy wrapping up my seminary quarter, which ends after the time the kids move in, and trying to figure out what to buy for meals.  Arranging day care, school, transportation, and school supplies is taking a lot of time right now; but once done will be done for quite a while.

Today I finally got my foster car license in the mail.  It's funny to think that I will soon have kids in the home!

I Love Lucy

Today is the 100th birthday of Lucille Ball.  I think it is amazing to think that she started her successful TV show at the age of 40.  I still love watching I Love Lucy reruns.

She was one of the first female television executives.  With her husband Desi, she pioneered the 3 camera set up that still dominates most television production.

Yet, despite her TV success, Ball first tried to concur movies.  She never quite hit the young ingenue, but it kept her career afloat until she met Desi Arnaz and found success in TV.

Kiva: A good place to lend money

I lended $25 to an international project last week.  I know it sounds a little shady, but I did it through Kiva.org.

At the website, you can select the country, project and group/person who will get the money.  The money is loaned, sometimes guaranteed for repayment.  More often, the repayment is not guaranteed.

The money is gradually paid back as the business or project succeeds.

I figure I am not out much if I don't see the money back, but it is a neat way to help out others.

Cat Siblings

My two cats are not related (to my knowledge), yet at times they act like brothers.  The younger one, Haty, is locked up at night due to his rambunctiousness.  Indy, the older one, will search for him some mornings, waiting to play.

Other times, Indy is grumping and can't stand having Haty around, so naturally, Haty makes a point of trying to get him to play.  Indy responds by meowing and running off.  If one is eating, the other one wants some too.

As I write this, Indy is trying to ignore Haty's attempt to play by not looking at him.  I don't think Haty is buying it.

Car Shopping

I drive a nice two door car.  The difficulty is that if I have anyone ride with me, getting into the back seat can be an adventure.  As I move toward foster kids and/or adoption, I think that the car is a bit impractical for that reason.

So, I have been looking online at various car dealerships and car reports to try and figure out how big of a vehicle I need.  Should I move toward an SUV?  Gas mileage takes a hit then.  Or should I look at a car?  In that case, I probably can't haul around many kids + friends.  Mini-van?  I'm really resisting this one.

I also have a smallish garage, so I need a vehicle that is svelte.  The other issue is that the size vehicle I'm looking at will cost a bit more, so I need to factor in the car payment in my calculations.

So, I'm finding my free time is consumed by browsing the car ads, hoping the perfect vehicle appears soon.

Home Improvements

Ever since I moved in last year, I have been steadily making changes and improvements to things.  My Dad is very handy, so he has installed a dishwasher, a garage door opener, a trellis for roses, lighting in the basement, and storage in the garage.

I have put up curtains, painted, reorganized rooms, and assembled furniture.  I have managed to acquire a couple extra beds and a toy kitchen, which I assembled today.

My next few projects are the backyard and more painting.

I also suspect that I need to buy a few more bookcases, as I am running out of room. 

If I add foster kids or adopt, I need to shift a few things around.  In many ways it seem like an unending process of renewal and change.  Which is the point, change is always occurring. 

The trick for me is to decide whether the change is just because I want something new or if it is necessary for my living.  Most of the time, I think it is not necessary but just my desire for newness.

Reading the Old Testament

Last year at this time, I was knee-deep in Hebrew words and verb forms.  This year, I'm reading through the Pentateuch.  In addition, I've had a couple classes that looked at David, Jonah, and Ruth.  It strikes me that in the past year, I've spend more time in the Old Testament than I have in a long time.

Each year, I try to accomplish the "Read the Bible in a Year" project.  Sometimes, I succeed, but more often than not, I get bogged down in Deuteronomy and quit reading.  At church, we rarely look at the first Testament, and I sometimes wonder what newer Christians think about it as it is never used!

But these courses have taught me to be more intentional about using the Old Testament.  I think Christians like to toss it out, as it has a lot of hard stories.  Hard stories about death, violence, bad treatment of women and children.  But, the New Testament covers many of these topics too. 

What we miss when we skip over to the New Testament without engaging the Old Testament is the unending faithfulness of God and his desire to have his people in relationship with Him.  We see a people longing for Jesus and waiting in expectation for his arrival.  In many ways, we live with a similar expectation - the expectation of Jesus' return.  I suspect that like the Israelites, we have fallen short of the way God would have us live.  The Old Testament tells us what we can expect from God - faithfulness in Jesus return even if we are not as faithful as we could be.

Finding a New Shepherd

At the beginning of the year, the lead pastor at my church announced she was taking a job as the denomination's MidWest Conference Superintendent.  This meant that our church would need to find a new shepherd.

I was fortunate enough to be placed on the search team for this position.  So far, we have been working on gathering information, surveying the congregation on needs and desires, and preparing a church profile that reflects where we are and where we'd like to be in terms of spiritual disciplines, missions, evangelism, biblical education etc.

Tonight, my committee finally gets to meet with the outgoing superintendent and receive potential candidates for the position.  This is exciting!

Naturally, the process still has a long way to go before we have someone hired to be our lead pastor.  But, tonight is a significant step forward.

Tyler Perry's Stories

Part of the process toward adopting interracially was that I was forced to take a look at the many ways I live in a lily-white world.  I realized that I don't watch African American TV shows, movies or read African American books.  I noticed that toys in the store featured predominately white characters, and couldn't even find an African American baby doll in any department store in town.

Some of this was no surprise.  I read a book for a chick-lit club written by Toni Morrison, and realized that while there is a large level of commonality between humans, there is a definite difference between African American culture as well as North versus South culture.  I had bought a baby doll a couple years ago to send to Haiti and couldn't find an African American doll then either.

So, I decided to undertake learning a bit about African American culture by watching some of Tyler Perry's movies and TV shows.  One of the things that I really appreciate about his stories is the story lines feature Christianity in an authentic manner.  Rarely does an episode or movie slide by without a reference to prayer, Jesus and living a Christian life.  This doesn't mean the characters are perfect.  Many have deep flaws, often times brought out through sinful behavior.  But religion is not something to be made fun of, rather it is something to be embraced and celebrated.

Now, Perry is criticized for using caricatures of African Americans in his work.  And, he does.  But, his characters are typically lovable, even if flawed; realistic, even if tragic; and multi-dimensional, even if a bit stereotypical. 

But one thing Perry is not doing is making every African American male a drug dealer and every African American woman a single mother.  Certainly these are characters in some of the shows, but the vast majority of characters are parents, family members, and hard working individuals.

Daily Routines

In the past couple weeks, I've had to adjust to a summer routine.  Since my typical ministry obligations take the summer off, this means I have a few more hours during the week to, well, do whatever I want.  This summer, I've been working on a few projects at the house.  So far, I've put curtains up and removed a few blinds, cleaned a couple closets, and reworked things in the backyard.

My Dad has been very helpful as he has installed a new garage door opener, put up a trellis, and removed a hideous "fence" off of the patio.  In the spirit of recycling, the fence lattice work became the trellis!

I have also sought to discipline myself to do more bible study.  Each night, I'm trying to do some non-school reading (right now it is Bryan Chapell's Christ Centered Preaching), and do some devotional reading.  I found that if I use a daily reading (one on saints and one on contemporary issues), it helps apply some of the things I am learning in class.  I've also been reading a chapter of Romans.  While this sounds like a lot, I can do it all in less than 30 minutes.

One area I've failed in discipline is preparing for the Bellingham Bay Half-Marathon.  Hopefully, I can do a better job sometime soon!

Erasing Hell

I quickly read a book last week called Erasing Hell by Francis Chan and Preston Sprinkle.  It is in part a response to Rob Bell, and in part a look at scripture discussing hell.

In the book, Chan does a great job of explaining what universalism is and the history behind the idea.  While not directly call Rob Bell a universalist, he points out that Bell's words and premise are universalist positions.

Chan explains what Jesus would have believed about hell as a first century Jew and how Jesus himself discussed hell in his teachings.  Paul also discussed heaven and judgment, but never specifically mentions "hell" (he uses "judgment" instead).

The book is a quick, easy read, but provides much information to consider on hell.

I'd recommend reading it if you want to understand the issues.

Adoption Strategies from Here

So, after I learned of the potential problems with my independent adoption from Haiti, I have been looking at strategies to fix the problem. 

1.  I can hire an agency to continue the Haiti adoption.  This solution will likely cost considerably more, although I have found a couple agencies that may cost minimally more than I originally planned.  The downside is that these agencies do not work with the orphanage that I had wanted use for the  adoption. 

2.  I can hire an agency and look at another country.  I have a soft spot in my heart for Haiti, but I also like the looks of several other countries.  Since I started this search, China has reopened to singles.  India, the Congo, Burundi, Ecuador, and others are possibilities. 

3.  I have not confirmed from the orphanage what their new policy will be, but hope that I find out more next week.

4.  I could just do foster care and try to adopt that way (which was part of the plan anyway).

5.  I could use the home study I have to do a domestic adoption.  This significantly changes things.  First, I was thinking a toddler aged child, not infant.  The cost is about the same.  Birthparents choose the adoptive parents in domestic adoption, so there is no guarantee of success.  With this option, I could use the agency who did the home study.  Costs seem to fluctuate more under this option than under international adoption.

Haiti Update II

So, after I posted my Haiti Update, I found out that things have radically changed.  Specifically, President Martelly announced late last week that he will be signing a Presidential Order requiring the use of an agency in adopting from Haiti.

The Haitian Senate had similar legislation, but it had not passed yet, and it is unclear whether it ever will.  Part of this law also may prevent women who have never married from adopting as it would require either a divorce decree or a death certificate as a method of proving the woman was heterosexual.  If you weren't ever married, you could not adopt.

What this likely means is that I cannot proceed with the adoption without hiring an agency.  This will at least double the cost.  While it is not clear if I can continue with the adoption using an agency to do the home study and some training classes, I believe that will require more than that.  At this point, I had to have a home study for US immigration.  The orphanage/creche I was using has decided to require an agency.  When Haiti becomes Hague compliant, this will be required anyway.

So, for me, this will require a rethink of the process.  I can start working with an agency, but don't know if spending $25,000+ is a wise decision when a domestic adoption may be much less than that.  In any event, I am still on track to be a foster parent starting this fall.

Haiti Update

I am still in the paperwork stage for the Haiti adoption.

I have about 75% of my dossier ready to go.  I'm only waiting on the homestudy (which hopefully will be done soon) and one reference letter.  My goal had been to send the dossier in before fall, and that does appear to be a possibility at this point in time.  I also have to sign a few documents, but that can wait until I have the rest of the dossier put together.

Adoptions in Haiti appear to be moving smoothly.  The orphanage I'm working with dozens of children who are awaiting matching, and few dossiers in process within the Haiti government.  Some of the dossiers are clearing the governmental process in a few months!

Can Toddlers Get It?

We have Bible School this week.  One of our groups is preschoolers - aged 3 to 5.  Many of them are used to going to day care, but don't know how to do many things.  We had to teach them to play duck, duck, goose, as most of them had no idea how to pat each other on the head and walk around the circle.

So, this got me to think about how many of those children understand our Bible stories.  Can a 3 year old grasp the concept of sin and what Christ's death means?  Do they have a long enough attention span and the ability to put together the ideas?

Some of them seem to get it, primarily because these are things they hear regularly at home and church.  Some of the unchurched kids have more difficulty, but hopefully in time, it will become a more familiar concept for them.

Bible Translations: ESV

The ESV Bible is one that I had never really used, as I grew up in a church that used NIV.  I did not have much experience with other translations of the Bible.  We did have a King James Bible in the house, and I learned Psalm 23 from it because I liked the way the words flowed better (must have been the early poet in me).

I had decided to buy an ESV, but couldn't really find a good reason to do it until a couple weeks ago when one of my classes required me to read three separate translations of the gospels.  So, I bought an ESV Study Bible.  I am impressed with all the maps, and footnotes in it (much like I was with my worn NIV Study Bible.  I find the introduction and explanation at the beginning to be  a fascinating look at how the translation committees determine how to translate various Hebrew and Greek words and meanings.

I haven't noticed significant differences from the NIV, but I haven't really compared line to line or verse to verse.  Hopefully, after I read each gospel in each translation, I'll have a better idea how the two differ. 

Now, I need to come up with another translation to use.  I like the New Living Translation (NLT) and have found it to differ from the NIV, usually in a more understandable manner.

What Bible Translations do you like?  Why?  Is which translation you use something you ever think about?

Remembering the Lord: Write This Down

Do you journal?  Do you make lists?  Both are great ways to remember things.  I love writing and do some journaling, but find my life is not interesting enough yet still too busy to write something everyday.  However, it is fun to go back and look through the events of my life and my feelings at the time.  I often find that the words remind me of how my life has changed since that snapshot of my life.

God encourages us to write things down to remember them.  Since the Exodus from Egypt, Jews recite the Shema twice a day.  The words are based on the instruction from God in Deuteronomy 6:4-9:

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one.  ⁵ Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. ⁶ These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ⁸ Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. ⁹ Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. 

God instructs that we are to love Him fully, and obey His law.  We are to impress God's word upon our hearts and upon our children.  God then explains how we are to accomplish this: by talking about Him and His word constantly daily and by reminding ourselves about them, including writing them down where we can see them as reminders.

By journaling to keep track of God's help and provision, we can remember His power, His work in our lives, and His great love.

And that's something to write about.

Half Marathon Training

I admit it - I've been slacking off on my training.  But today, I actually walked/ran 4 miles.  I decided I needed to put in some distance to help get things going.  It actually went fairly well, and I do still have some time to prepare as the half marathon is not until late September.

I've been looking for a training plan, but haven't turned up anything.  Apparently going from non-runner/couch potato to running a half marathon is not recommended or maybe it is better to say, it is not considered sane.  Perhaps a 5K would have been a better choice!

Abortion Outed on a Billboard?

A New Mexico man lashed out at his ex-girlfriend by posting a billboard proclaiming he would have a 2 month old child if the mother had not decided to abort the child.  Despite the fact that his name is not on the billboard, nor is hers, she is suing him for harassment and invading her privacy.  He claims free speech.

It seems to me that he is not violating her privacy, as she is not named, however, the people they know may recognize him and realize what she has done.

If abortion is a woman's right, then why is she embarrassed by the billboard?  Her friends are claiming it was a miscarriage, but it does not appear she is alleging that in the lawsuit.  If it was a miscarriage, it seems she should be alleging libel or slander, not harassment and privacy claims.

I find it ironic that the "right" to abortion is clashing with a specific right listed in the Constitution.  It seems that speech should win, but it didn't in the case of abortion protesters at abortion facilities.

Rob Bell's Love Wins

I finally finished reading Rob Bell's book Love Wins.  The short review is that Bell asks a lot of questions but never provides a satisfactory answer for them.  He seems to want to make everyone happy, and in the end, satisfies no one.

Bell's analysis is at times questionable.  For example, on page 47, he relates the story of John & James' mother requesting they be seated at Jesus' right and left.  Bell's analysis is "she doesn't want bigger mansions or larger piles of gold for them."  But rather, "she understood heaven to be about partnering with God to make a new and better world, one with increasingly complex and expansive expressions and dimensions of shalom, creativity, beauty and design."  Huh?    It seems to me that she was asking that they be rewarded with power, which then caused the other disciples to become indignant at her bold request.

Bell consistently refers to the Creation story as a poem.  It is hard to determine whether he does this to avoid the word "story" or if he is minimizing the truth found within the Creation story.  He also appears to subscribe to the idea that the writer of Revelation is not John the Beloved Disciple, but rather a pastor (small "P").  Not big issues, but may demonstrate how loose and fast he is with the rest of scripture.

Later in the book, Bell draws on church fathers to support his idea that God will reconcile with all people.  However, his citations leave much to be desired.  First, he never directly pinpoints were this support can be found within the church father's work.  Second, he fails to reveal that Origen was nearly excommunicated by the early church and the church councils for his views.  The other church fathers he cites are, by Bell's brief quotes, not affirming the idea of universalism, as he is inferring.

Bell harps upon God's love, but rarely mentions God's holiness.  To me, these are balanced concerns, to Bell, holiness is a long lost cousin no one invites to the party.  Bell harps on the idea that if God consigns some to hell, then God is cruel, vicious and mean, not loving.  Why is it mean to give someone exactly what they wanted?

Bell asserts that Jesus is found everywhere, declaring that Paul finds Jesus everywhere (p 144).  This seems very close to pantheism to me.  Because Jesus is everywhere, "he is as narrow as himself and as wide as the universe." (p 155).  He seems to be arguing that Jesus is both exclusive and inclusive, and that the door of heaven is wide open to everyone, regardless what you believe.  In the extreme, the eucharist unites everyone, apparently including those who never partake of it.

Bell asks many questions, but never addresses the other hard ones - if everyone is saved, then will the person who murdered my loved one be in heaven? What about Hitler?  What about that ex who cheated on you?  What about the killers of missionaries?  Even if none of them ever felt remorse in this life, they still get into heaven?

Reading Bell's book quenches the fire of evangelism and sucks meaning out of the Christian faith.  Why bother trying to convert anyone to following Christ when God will allow them multiple chances until they say "yes" to him?  Jesus' death was a solution for everyone, but Bell never explains why God gave us free choice, the choice to sin, to begin with?  Isn't God cruel to put us through this life filled with sin, poverty, sickness, and sadness if He could have stopped it at the Garden of Eden?  If God gets what God wants, then our choices do not matter.  So why bother with this pathway?

Instant Gratification

I went grocery shopping today.  As I walked up and down the aisles, I realized how many food products I purchase are designed to make cooking faster.  There is precooked bacon, frozen meals, and packaged meal kits, all designed to make feeding you and your family faster.

Diet pills flourish because they promise instant results, disregarding the fact that the extra weight did not appear overnight.

We carry cellphones so that we can instantly connect with whomever, however we want.  We have wi-fi devices of various sorts so that we can instantly upload a picture of our vacation or daily lives.

News is available twenty-four hours a day.  You don't have to read a book or go to a movie to find out what the plot points are.  Movies are available on-demand, so we don't have to wait to see them on TV or on DVD.

We live in a culture of instant gratification.  It permeates everything we do, including our spiritual life.   The whole Judgment Day event was about people wanting to know now what God has hidden for later.

I see this in my own life when I want to know what my future holds now, instead of waiting for later.

But God firmly believes in delayed gratification.  He promised to Adam and Eve that he would send a redeemer, and He did - in His own time.  He promised to Abraham and David that He would send a Son who would reign forever, and He did - in His own time.  When Jesus returned to heaven, He promised He would return, and He will - in His own time.

These are the promises I need to remember.  Promises that everything does not happen instantly or upon my whim.  And this may truly be counter-cultural.

Counting the Cost

When I started seminary two years ago, I recognized that it would radically change my life.  Nearly all my vacation time would have to go towards attending the on campus intensives twice a year. (In fact, I'm not sure that I will have enough vacation toward the end, but I'll worry about that later).

I also knew that I would have much less free time than I used to have in order to read, blog, watch TV, surf the web, and to spend with family.

All of that has been true.  What I wasn't quite prepared for was the fact that much of it I don't miss.  TV is one thing I don't miss very much, although I do still watch my fair share of it.  My attendance at racing events has plummeted - I used to attend a race per week, now I'm lucky to get to one per season.

This weekend is my favorite weekend at Knoxville - Hall of Fame Inductions.  I've met scads of neat people, some famous, some not famous at all.  But listening to the old drivers set around and tell stories on one another is an unbelievable experience.  I've gotten to know several of the people who return each year.

But, I think I'm going to have to miss this weekend.  I have too many other things that must be completed (like a couple papers), and I have tons of projects that I keep having to put off due to homework or lack of time.  While it isn't a firm decision yet, it is one that I think I will have to make this year.

Five Authors

I was reading an application for a program today.  One of the questions was "List five authors that you like to read (in a non-work capacity).  Why do you like to read those authors?"

I struggled to think of five authors that I like to read consistently.  Add in that the program was a religious education program, and that probably skewed the answers I would like to give (is it pandering to list the man who runs the program who happens to be an author?).

Here are the authors I came up with:

1.  C.S. Lewis - I enjoy reading his fiction works and I like to think through his apologetics.
2.  Tim Keller - Love his clear writing.  Also makes me stop and think.
3.  Dante - I'm not finished with the Divine Comedy yet, but I already know I need to re-read it.
4.  Agatha Christie - love mysteries that can keep me guessing.

I couldn't come up with any others.  I read a lot, but not really anyone consistently.

So for a final answer:
5.  Shane Claiborne - I don't always agree with him, but he makes me consider and justify why I don't agree with him.


 Who would you pick?

Rapture on May 21st?

A preacher has predicted that tomorrow, May 21st, the rapture will occur.  For those who don't understand this Christian insider term, "the Rapture" is when those who believe in Christ are taken into heaven before the "Great Tribulation."

This hasn't always been considered to happen before the Tribulation, and in fact, the timing of the Rapture (pre-Trib, mid-Trib etc). is hotly disputed in many Christian circles.

The publicity of this prediction bothers me.  While on one hand Jesus' return is to be greatly celebrated, on the other the amount of ridicule that will land on Christians if the prediction is wrong will be great.

I do not believe the Rapture will occur tomorrow - in fact it may be the one time I could guarantee it will not occur.  Why?  Because the Bible is clear that no one but God knows the day and the hour.  This prediction is in direct contravention of scripture.

Why would God not want us to know when the Rapture would occur?  If we knew when it was, we could all put off following Christ until right before it happened.  Instead of living holy lives, we could live wild lives and repent at the last instant.  Some of us already try to do this by hoping for a death bed conversion and repentance.

So while the Rapture is something to look forward to, we are to continue on in the work God has called us to, so when Christ appears, he finds us faithful servants.

Diamonds

From Nick & Nancy Stinnett:  South African diamond miners move and sift thousands of tons of rock and dirt looking for a few tiny diamonds.  Too often we do the opposite in our relationships; we sift through the diamonds eagerly searching for dirt.

Infertility & Singleness

Infertility has been a topic on the Christian radio station I have been listening to lately.  It seems Focus on the Family and a few other ministries have taken on the topic to provide counsel to couples experiencing this difficulty.  It is an area in which much compassion and understanding needs to be poured.

There does seem to be one angle that is missing in this discussion: that of singles.  As a single woman, when I was asked about infertility during a foster care class, I wondered why it was an issue.  But the more I thought about it, I realized it was an area I needed to re-consider.

Singles are already working through a counter-cultural lifestyle, which may have not been their choice.  Whether they have married and divorced, never married or been widowed, singles are wrestling with the lack of romantic relationship within a culture that strongly values coupling.

Within the Christian Church, the pressure to couple is even worse than that of the culture.  Singles classes are designed in part to pair people off into couples.  Church Adult education involves parenting classes, marriage classes and small groups full of couples.

To this external pressure add the internal pressure: singles desire romance.  We singles are willing to go to extremes to find love, as the online explosion of dating websites testifies.  One can go to lunch on a date set up by a matchmaker, "date" several people  in less than an hour in a speed dating event, or put an ad in the newspaper.  But for some, love is elusive, and that causes pain.  One friend confided to me that looking at anniversary announcements was particularly painful as she aged, because each birthday made it more impossible for her to ever be married that long.

There is another dynamic going on too - the failure to have children.  As each year goes by without a permanent relationship, singles also lose out on the opportunity to have children.  Sometimes the prospect of parenting arises through accidental pregnancy, but in general, many singles find themselves without partners and without children.

While Christian couples may feel both internal and external pressure to have children, singles feel mostly internal pressure, but there can be external pressure too from parents and others.  So while childless couples may be emotional at the thought of Mother's Day, many singles may feel the same way.

For me, my ideal was to get married and have children.  But as time ticked by and I am not married, I decided I could still have children.  After exploring several options, I decided adoption and foster care would be my best options.  In my mind, I did not want to find myself at age 50 without children.  Other singles have commented that the spousal relationship was their primary desire, not the children.

So while some couples and some singles are content with their childlessness.  Others are not.  The church needs to recognize both couples and singles may be struggling with infertility and should seek to help out both by providing comfort, care, and understanding.

Busyness of Time

Life is a constant scheduling adventure for me.  To say I have things planned down to the second is not much of a stretch.  I work full-time as a criminal defense attorney, attend seminary as a full-time student, sing for a community choir, participate in a variety of ministries at my church, and keep in touch with friends and family.

Most of the time, I manage to get through.  And I am amazed at the number of things I can accomplish and maintain my sanity.  It is at these times that I have to remind myself that God is in control, and it is only by His grace that I do manage to do all this.

But at other times, I feel overwhelmed.  I dream about skipping out on a few obligations.  It is then that exercise, daily time with God, prayer, and relationships start to fall to the wayside.

In the midst of this busyness, I still find time to agonize over adoption, foster care and whether I will ever marry.  It feels as though these negative thoughts always find time in my schedule to appear.  Should I be in seminary?  Is it necessary to help out in those church ministries?

It is then that I am reminded that Proverbs 16:9 says, "In their hearts, human beings plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps."    God is in control.  His plan will prevail, regardless if it is a plan I would chose or not (and I often choose wrong).

Isaiah 28:29 tells us that "All this also comes from the Lord Almighty, whose plan is wonderful, whose wisdom is magnificent."

So as I see time passing rapidly by, I am comforted to know that God, the creator of time and one who stands outside time, has a plan for me.

Una Vocis Concert

Tomorrow Night, Una Vocis will be performing at Holy Family Catholic Church at 7 p.m.

We have several a cappella numbers and a few in Latin.  We have four Eric Whitacre songs and two lengthy pieces.

Hope to see you there!

Teetering on the Edge

Since mid-April, I have been extremely busy, even for me.  I have had events and projects each weekend and a massive amount of homework due.  I've been teetering on the edge of exhaustion and too much to do!

Fortunately, homework over the past two weeks has been light, but I still had two books to read and write about.  I had a sermon to rework for church, a busy time at work, and more progress to be made on the adoption/foster parenting front.  I had my last SEEL retreat on Saturday, and while it was bittersweet, it is nice to have all of my Saturdays back - maybe the lawn will actually get mowed soon!

My choir rehearsals have increased to two per week for the concert scheduled Saturday. After this week, my schedule gets much lighter, which is good as I have to write a couple big papers for the end of semester.  So, if I can make it through next Sunday, life will be good.

The classes this quarter have been heavy reading and writing classes.  The one on multiculturalism is a nearly identical repeat of the class I had last summer (I'm still not impressed with it), and I really don't understand why there are two classes on the topic.  My other class, on the lifecycle, has been interesting and I've learned a few things. The combination of the two is a bit much.  For some reason, the distance courses seem to give the professors the license to require a book per week to be read and reported about while also posting two or three times per week and watching video'ed lectures.  This is one area that needs to be reevaluated by the university!

Some quick links

I've read a few interesting articles on the web the past few days, and thought I would pass them on:

NYT wrote that Haiti has a problem with mother's prematurely stopping breast feeding as they believe their milk is bad.  Naturally this lead to severe problems for the children, who sometimes do not survive.

India, on the other hand, is still having trouble with girls. The caste system requires that girls give dowery to their husband's family, so families seek to get rid of girls out of an inability to pay the dowery. For the rich this means selective abortion (even though disclosure of gender via ultrasound is forbidden in India); for the poor, this means starving girls to death after birth.  It struck me that India is about 20 years behind China with this same problem - which is now starting to erupt with Chinese men finding they cannot find a partner due to the small female population.

Finally, I discovered the list of the most expensive homes in America.  The asking price for these homes would go a long way to ease the first two problems, listed above.  But, why consider that when you could get a china room or a gift wrap room?

I also discovered this week the organization kiva.org  The basic idea is that you can loan $25 to microfinance various projects around the world. The projects range from buying motorbikes for a courier/taxi service to agricultural pursuits to restaurant/food vendors.  Some of the loans are guaranteed, but some are not.  It looks like a nice way to spend $25 bettering the world (and you may even get the money back!).

Royal Wedding

When I woke up at 4:45 a.m. yesterday to watch the Royal Wedding, I wondered if I was crazy.  After watching the celebration, I realized that something larger than a ceremony between two people was happening.

With the British royal wedding, people were entranced by the pageantry and the love story unfolding before them.  There was a sense of hope and joy at the future facing these two and the British Nation.  It struck me that despite our modern disregard for marriage, symbolically, we still crave it.  We want the fairy tale relationship.  We want the happily ever after.

Women love weddings - the drama, the beauty, the love-laced words, the joy and the hope.  Brides strive to look their best, spend hours planning the event, and afterwards, reliving it through photos and other media. We joke that more time is spent preparing for the ceremony than preparing for the marriage (and unfortunately, this is often true!).

God loves weddings.  Jesus performed his first miracle at a wedding.  God likes himself to a bridegroom in Old Testament prophecies.  Jesus talks about his bride, the Church.

As lovely as Catherine Middleton was yesterday, she pales in comparison to Christ's bride, the Church.  The eternal wedding will be one filled with even more hope and more love than anything we've ever seen or experienced.

Despite the pageantry of the royal wedding, the heralds at the Heavenly wedding of The King and His Bride will overshadow our earthly attempts at pageantry.

So perhaps in watching the royal wedding between Prince William and now Princess Catherine, we can glimpse a look at our future.

On to Licensing!

This week I wrapped up my foster care parenting classes and had my last homestudy visit.  If things go well, I should get my license sometime around August 1st or so.  I will still need to take a few classes over the next year to keep my license current, like CPR/First Aid, Mandatory Reporting, and Med Management.

My project for this weekend is assembling the crib I purchased.  I decided since I was going to adopt a toddler from Haiti, I'd need the toddler bed or a crib anyway, so when I saw a good deal online, I snapped it up. 

Now I need to get through the next couple weeks - my choir will be ending in a couple weeks, the mid-week kids ministry wraps up and I have a few school projects to get done too.  For now, it is great to be done with the foster care classes, even though I will miss seeing the people I got to know during them.  Hopefully, we will stay in touch

Knocking God Off His Throne?

I confess I am a planner.  I have owned more schedule books, palm pilots, and calendars than I'd care to admit.  I have dreams about vacations and plans for where to spend next weekend. When everything goes according to plan, I feel amazing and powerful. But, if I'm running late or things don't go quite the way I want them to, then I'm frustrated and frazzled.

For my preaching class, I taught on James 4:13-17, where James takes us to task for planning without God.  He calls those who plan without God arrogant.   James also reminds that God views planning without his input as boasting, and God hates boasting.

I find this convicting every time I reflect on my schedule.  Am I really doing what God wants me to do?  Or am I doing my own thing, hoping that God approves after the fact?

Theotokos: Has the Protestant Church Forgotten the Mother of God?

Theotokos is a Greek term loosely translated as "Mother of God."  It is used regularly in the Orthodox church to refer to Mary, the mother of Jesus.  At the Greek Orthodox church I visited this week, Mary is prominently portrayed in several icons, always with this designation.  Other spiritual giants are there too, as well as several icons of Christ.

In the Catholic Church, Mary is revered as both a virgin and as Christ's mother.  In both churches, during nearly every service, her name is mentioned several times.

Yet in the Protestant Church, Mary is rarely mentioned, aside from Christmas time or when she features in the gospel reading that is set for the day.

In our quest to prevent the "worship" of Mary, has the Protestant church gone too far in setting Mary aside?  Have we missed out on a woman whose faith was great enough to cause God to bless her with the mission of giving birth to God Incarnate?  Is it a case of throwing the baby out with the bath water?

From scripture, we see Mary as a woman with incredible faith, defying social norms at a great cost to herself.  We see a mother who cares deeply for her son.  A woman who remains faithful to her son, even to his death.  Mary stays with the church after the resurrection and continues on with her faith through the early days of the church.  She does not seek privilege, power or honor, instead seeking peace and understanding, remaining faithful.

The tension is how to revere Mary's contribution and faithfulness without placing her above her son.  Do we seek to honor those saints of the past that trod the faith path before us?  Or do we leave that to private devotion?  Or should we continue on, ignoring the contributions of those who lived before us?

One More...

I just finished my ninth foster care parenting class.  Just one more to go, and then I'll be a licensed foster care parent.

I have enjoyed getting to know the other foster care parents.  Tonight, we learned how the Iowa Foster and Adoptive Parenting Association provides continuing education.  Each year, I'll have to continue to take classes to maintain my license.

Later this week, I also have the last adoption homestudy visit.  Next week, the last class and last homestudy visit.

So, everything is coming together.  This week, I got my psychological evaluation.  It is possible that the dossier to Haiti will be able to go sometime this summer.

S.E.E.L Retreat

The SEEL Retreat's focus in the past month has been on the Easter story.  In some ways, this is a dark and gloomy portion of the retreat.

After Easter, we have the chance to embrace the joy of the resurrection.

However, we still have one week until then.  I am anxious to skip over the hard parts of this week and instead focus on the joy that comes with Easter morning. But without the death, there is no new birth.  Without the hard parts, we don't learn how wonderful the good parts are.

For me, the time since the beginning of the year has been great.  Progress has been made toward adding to my family, so anticipation is in the air.  In reviewing last fall's journal, I noted that I felt like I was walking through a desert valley.  I'm not sure whether that was due to the lack of momentum toward the foster care and adoption or if it was the difficulty I had with one of my classes.  Or if it was the struggle I had with the adjustment to this retreat.  In any event, it was very insightful to see how things went once I persevered through it.

Easter Approaches

Easter is coming in about two weeks.  I spent some time thinking today about how Jesus felt as he was approaching the culmination of his earthly ministry.

Did he think "this is the last time that I'll preach?"

Or did he look at Judas and imagine what would happen if Judas refused to sell him out?

Did he consider the loneliness of the cross, when his friends had deserted him?

Was he prepared for the depths of hell?

Did he anticipate God's wrath?

Did he anticipate God's love when he completed his earthly mission?

When the crowds cheered him at the triumphant entry, did he know how quickly they would turn on him?

Nurturing Through the Lifecycle

That's the title of one of my classes this quarter.  I wasn't super-excited to take the course, but since I needed a spiritual formation credit, this was my option.

The class has actually been very interesting.  The readings have dealt with human development, family formation and other issues that speak to my current plans.  I am surprised how well the topics dovetail with my foster care classes and my readings on international adoption.

One issue I read about today was the place of singles in churches.  The author noted that churches are composed of "traditional" families or people who used to be part of traditional families (ie empty-nesters or widow/ers), thus the church is not addressing the needs or  desires of  non-traditional families including singles, single parents, couples w/o kids etc.

There is little question in my mind that this problem exists.  The question is how should the church address it while still affirming families?

Adoption Progress & Regress

This week I am accomplishing nothing on the adoption since I am busy with a jury trial.  However, next week, I get back on track with more home study visits.  While I feel that I am making progress, I still have a mountain of paperwork to gather and fill out.

In some ways, I am just waiting for the home study to be completed so I can get the immigration process started, along with a few other points that require the home study first.  In other ways, I am getting tired of all the things that have to be done before I can even send the paperwork to Haiti.

Meanwhile, Haiti has elected a new president.  And at this time it appears to be a peaceful election.  Praise God!

Losing Connections

I participated in a thought provoking exercise this week.

Think of the five most important connections you have in your life.  These can be people, places, things, pets, dreams, technological devices or anything else you can come up with that are important to you.

Now, choose one you have to lose.

Then another.

And another.

Finally, chose between the last two which one you will keep.

Odds are good that you decided to keep something related to your family or your faith.

For me, the first couple "losses" were not as big of deals as the final two.  While I would grieve those lost connections, with the help of the remaining ones, I could persevere.

Think of all those people in Japan who lost everything.  Their whole town is wiped off the map.  The house is gone. The pets are gone.  There is nothing left.  The corner grocery store is demolished.  The workplace a pile of sticks.

The church has been relocated five miles inland and now only has three walls.

Worse, the friends and family who could help you deal with these losses are gone as well.  Whether they are alive and relocated or dead, who knows?

So, what did you chose to keep as your connection?

Did you feel like a traitor when you chose one over another?  Or was your mind firmly set?

Testing...Testing...

As I am gathering up information for the foster care process, the adoption home study and the Haiti adoption paperwork, I feel like I am tested out.

This week, I had to go for blood tests (after I had blood tests less than a month ago for a yearly physical).

Did I mention that I hate needles?  That I hate blood draws more than virtually anything else?

And I also tend to get light-headed during the blood draw.

So, I had to go in and have this blood test to see if I have HIV or Syphilis.  Naturally, the nurses taking the blood were very professional, but I felt compelled to explain why I needed to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases!

During the test, I asked to have chair that supported my head because I was worried that I would faint.  Fortunately, I didn't, but I hope there are no more blood tests on the horizon.

I also have to have psychological tests (scheduled this month).  Financial tests in the form of letters of credit and good standing.  And still more homestudy exams to see if my house is safe and secure for the children.

Let's hope it continues to go well!

Lasagna Blanca

This recipe is from Better Homes & Gardens' 9 x 13 The Pan that Can.

12 dried lasagna noodles
1 pound spicy bulk pork sausage
1/2 cup chopped green onions
1/2 cup chopped fresh mushrooms
1 1/2 cups shredded cheddar cheese (I used 2 cups)
1 cup cream style cottage cheese
4 oz of cream cheese, softened & cut up
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
1 tablespoon all purposed flour
1/8 teaspoon dried tarragon, crushed
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
1 cup milk

1. Cook lasagna noodles according to package directions; drain well.  Rinse with cold water; drain well. Place lasagna noodles in a single layer on a sheet of foil; set aside.  Meanwhile, in a large skillet cook sausage, green onions and mushrooms until sausage is cooked through, using a wooden spoon to break up sausage as it cooks; drain off fat. Set aside.

2.  For filling, in a medium bowl combine 1/2 cup of the cheddar cheese, the cottage cheese, cream cheese, garlic powder, and 1/8 teaspoon of pepper; set aside.

3.  Grease a 9 x 13 inch baking pan or baking dish; set aside.  Preheat oven to 350F.  Spread cheese filling evenly over cooked noodles.  Sprinkle sausage mixture on top.  Roll up each noodle into a spiral.  Place lasagna rollups, seam sides down, in the prepared pan or dish; set aside.

4.  For tarragon sauce, in a small saucepan melt butter over medium heat.  Stir in flour, tarragon, and 1/8 teaspoon of pepper.  Add milk all at once.  Cook and stir until slightly thickened and bubbly.  Remove from heat.  Stir in 1/2 cup of the cheddar cheese. Pour the tarragon mixture over the lasagna rollups in the pan or dish.

5.  Bake, covered, for 25 minutes.  Uncover; sprinkle with remaining 1/2 cup cheddar cheese.  Bake, uncovered, about 10 minutes more or until heated through.  Let stand for 10 minutes before serving.

Makes 12 servings.

Per serving: 317 cal; 17 g total fat (9g sat. fat), 54 mg chol, 378 mg sodium, 21 g carbo, 1 g fiber, 17 g pro.

Where there's a Will

As I am working through the foster care process and the international adoption process, one of the questions that keeps popping up is whether I have a will.  I do not have one.

As a lawyer, I know that I should have one.  But I have never taken the time to get it done.

I finally asked another lawyer if she could prepare a will for me.  Naturally, she said yes, and I now have homework to do in preparation for our meeting.

In some ways, thinking about death and the distribution of my property is a bit strange.  I am hopeful that I have decades of time before this is really needed.  In reality, I know that death may appear on my doorstep at any time.

As my law professor, who has a very young widow, said, "I know death happens to everyone, but I fully expect an exception to be made in my case."

On the Verge of Something Big

Do you remember when you were so close to achieving a dream you'd had for a long time?  Maybe it was your wedding day or the day you became a mother.  Maybe it was when you landed the perfect job or graduated.

I've been having that feeling a lot lately.  Like I'm on the verge of something big.  I'm not fully sure why this is.  To be sure, I have a few irons in the fire that I am waiting to draw out:  I am working toward my foster care license and adopting internationally.  And I am now halfway through my seminary education.  Yet, all of these events are months and years in the future; they will not happen tomorrow.

But for some reason, I am expecting big things.  In the near future.

Over the past six months, I have been participating in a prayer retreat.  I have been intentionally spending more time in prayer.  As I looked over my journal for the retreat, I remembered that God had blessed me during this time - with specific events, people and ideas.  Blessings were not all that I got out of this prayer challenge:  I dealt with struggles and at times felt like God had abandoned me in the desert!

Once I adjusted my focus from me to Him, God himself started showing up.  Well, actually, I started seeing Him, right where He was the whole time.

Perhaps my anticipation is that God is here!  He has a plan for me!

And I can't wait to see what happens.

Universalism: A Few Thoughts

Rob Bell's new book, which I have not read, has created a firestorm of criticism about universalism.  In a nutshell, universalism is the belief that everyone, sooner or later, ends up in heaven: in eternity, there is no hell.

Bell's proposition is that a loving God could not send people he created to eternal death.  This is a nice, warm and fuzzy idea that Bell apparently thinks will help people who are turned off on Christianity based on the idea of hell.  If Bell is correct and there is no eternal hell, then we are all in good shape.  But if he is wrong... Well, then this is a very dangerous idea.

Why dangerous?
Universalism is dangerous because people are not forced to consider the afterlife.  If everyone ends up in heaven, why bother with religion?  Any Religion?  The fear element is eliminated.  I suspect this is Bell's point.  People shouldn't be scared straight, seems to be his beef.  The problem is that ignoring a danger does not make it less dangerous.  Instead, it is more dangerous.

Universalism is a dangerous idea because it removes the incentive to follow the rules.  In a Christian context, there ceases to be much need to stick to God's rules.  In a societal context, why bother to follow the rules if eternal life is promised regardless?  Why bother to clean up my obvious sins (drug use, promiscuity, fighting, pornography etc) if God is going to ignore them anyway?

The Problems with Universalism
The problems I see with universalism vary between Biblical concepts, (what I hope is) logic with a dash of common sense and observation of how our world works.

Genesis 3
First, in Genesis 3, Adam and Eve sin by disobeying God.  In Genesis 3:22, God drives the couple from the garden, commenting that Adam and Eve must not eat from the Tree of Life and live forever.  A cherubim guards the Tree of Life with a flashing sword.

So, God goes to all this trouble, pronouncing a curse on humanity and enlisting a cherubim to guard the Tree of Life, just so that eventually he can say, "Just kidding, Welcome to Eternal Life!"?

The Commandments
Fast forward a few hundred years.  God has brought Abraham's now large family out of Egypt by showing his power to Pharaoh and his hard heart.  The Israelites, led by Moses, encamp at the foot of the mountain. Moses goes onto the mountain to talk with God and eventually returns with the Ten Commandments.  We still joke that these are the "Commandments" not "Suggestions."  But what is their purpose if God has no intention of making us accountable for them?

I posit that we are accountable to God (and each other) for these Commandments.

Human experience should clue us in then that commandments mean something.  If someone more powerful than you tells you to do something, you better do it or there will be consequences.  The same thing happens if they tell you NOT to do something, as there are then consequences for doing it anyway.  This has held true throughout human history.  The Roman Emperors were likely to have you killed for ignoring their decrees.  Parents demand obedience from their kids throughout time.  Bosses rule over employees.

But apparently, God, the Creator, has no bite to his commands.  They are merely optional under universalism.

Moral Codes
If you look at people groups and their social rules, remarkable similarities appear.  We, as a creature, seem to have some universal ideas of good and bad imbedded in our souls.  We may apply them to different people like our families and friends versus "others." But they exist.  We also have ideas of the afterlife which span across cultures.  How does this come about unless there is someone or something setting that agenda?

These cultures seem to have ideas that some people are out of heaven and others are in.  How do we get that idea, if there isn't some overriding narrative and narrator?

Prophets
I've recently been reading the prophets.  By and large, those prophets seem to be rather judgmental fellows.  They are constantly promising doom and destruction on Israel, Judah and the surrounding countries for failing to follow God's laws.

History tells us that God was not kidding around about his judgment.  He sent his Promised People into death, slavery and destruction on multiple occasions to prove that he was serious about those rules.

But, apparently God really didn't mean it if universalism is true, because everyone, even the truly evil, will end up in heaven.  The miracles of fulfilled prophecy are just coincidences that we should gloss over.


Christ
When a man shows up on the scene who fulfills God's law down to the last letter, he's killed by the rest of us.  Under universalism, this death has little meaning, because everyone ends up in heaven anyway.

Now, some universalists will say that Jesus is the way God saves everyone.  If God is the one who designed this process, then why bother with Christ?  Can't he just erase the sin?  Can't he just nullify the verdict that we are guilty?  Why does a blood sacrifice need to be made?

One of the problems with universalism that I see is that God is powerless. He sets up a system, then cannot enforce consequences for disobedience.

Universalism guts John 3:16: because belief in Christ is not essential to eternal life.

Free Will
I don't understand how free will can operate under universalism.  How is there a meaningful choice?  If I can order whatever I want at a restaurant, but always get served fried chicken, I really had no choice in what I was ordering. Under Universalism,  whatever you pick, you go to heaven.

Revelation
The book of Revelation can be interpreted in different ways.  Those ways can be contradictory or confusing.  However, it mentions some severe punishments for those who are not in God's camp.  Under universalism, these punishments must be an illusion or untrue.

Suffering
One problem universalists have that leads them to believe God saves everyone is how a loving God can send people into eternal suffering.  But that seems to ignore God's perspective.  Must God be the one who suffers the indignity of having his rules broken over and over again with no redress?  At what point does God's love require that his holiness be defended?  If his obedient servants are assaulted, beaten and killed, does he have to grant mercy to their tormentors?  Does he have to save his enemy?


While I see the allure of universalism, it simply does not make sense in the context of the Bible, reality as we know it and it violates the character of God more than it affirms it.

As I am not an authority, here are some links to what others are saying about hell, Rob Bell and universalism:

The Resurgence by Mark Driscoll
Book Review of the book stirring the controversy by Kevin De Young
Blog post by Albert Mohler