I've attended churches of various sizes and denominations. One uniform problem I encounter is that churches don't know what to do with singles.
By that, I mean that churches are so focused on married people and children, that they do not address the potential needs, desires and lifestyle issues of singles.
Some churches attempt to address singleness by having "singles only" classes, events and small groups. I have enjoyed this type of programming, but there are a few problems with it. First, there is a tendency that the groups become meat markets, where feelings are hurt by indiscrete daters or by others pressuring dating couples to "hurry up and marry." Additionally, these churches believe they are addressing the issue when in reality the rest of the programming again focuses on marrieds. In other words, there is no integration between singles and marrieds.
These programs tend to be focused at young singles, not middle-aged or elderly singles. The reality of the lonely widower persists, as the church does not address those issues.
In other churches, singles are viewed as diseased with marriage the only cure. In these groups, there is a lot of pressure to date, mate and procreate.
Many churches do not recognize women as leaders. In these churches, women are regulated to nursery duty or teaching sunday school as their service and leadership options. Serving on the Elder Board or as an adult teacher is not possible.
Churches that allow women ministers do marginally better. Another danger for singles is that people believe singles have unlimited time to do church things. Singles may have more time, but in other ways we have less as there is no one to help complete the household chores - sole responsibility for the lawn, laundry, dishes, cleaning, dog walking and car repair falls on the individual.
So how can the church address these problems? I'll tackle that in another post.
0 comments:
Post a Comment