From where I sit, as a Single Christian Woman, the American church has a major purity problem. Living in a sex-drenched society, the church does not address sexual purity.
Christians decry abortion, but refuse to educate their children about the blessings of celibacy and how to practically achieve that purity in daily life. Division rips at the Church on the issue of homosexuality, but we wink and smirk at heterosexual sex outside of marriage. We ignore the issue of pornography (except to say we are against it in some vague, undefined way) and refuse to acknowledge its creeping encroachment in our lives via the internet, TV, and movies.
It is not surprising that today’s American Christian is just as likely to have sex outside of marriage (either before, during or after), create children before marriage, have an unhappy, unsexually fulfilled marriage, and get divorced!
Today’s most endangered species in America? A virgin over 18 years of age. Purity is not a value American culture celebrates. Having sex with as many people as possible is the name of the game. Movies are plotted around the idea that without having sex, one cannot have a fulfilling existence, cannot be popular and is somehow “weird.” Glossing over the issues of pregnancy, STDs and relationship difficulties that multiply with multiple partners, American Society wants everyone to join in the orgy. After all, there are no consequences, right?
Instead of pointing out the myriad of problems that come with multiple sexual partners, viewing pornography and refusing to submit the body, the Christian Church ignores much of the problem. The sexual purity line is drawn around homosexuals and abortioners, not women reading graphic romance novels or men viewing Playboy videos.
Jesus had other ideas. He declared, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:27-28. I doubt Jesus would be happy at the state of Purity in the American Church.
Paul, picking up Jesus’ theme, wrote about purity. His desire was clearly in line with Jesus’: “I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people – not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral or the greedy and swindlers, or idolators. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolator, or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.” I Cor. 5:9-11. He later writes, “The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.” 1 Cor. 6:13b.
It is not enough to say that “We are against pre-marital sex,” (even though that alone would be a refreshing change- most churches are silent on the issue). No, the Church needs to step up and provide help to individuals struggling with purity burdens. We need to accept less of the pornographic ideas that society tries to feed us through the internet, fashion, TV, movies and accepted social behaviors.
We need to equip our pre-teens and teens to deal with the issues of intimacy, calling them to deep, but pure, relationships with others. We need to teach our young women how to dress modestly in the fashion culture that prefers to show off the entire body. Young men need to be mentored about the dangers of idolizing the bodies of women who appear in skin magazines and movies (reality is unlike to measure up).
To leave sex to those outside of the Church, which has been the default position of the American Church since the Puritans hit Plymouth Rock, is irresponsible and dangerous. It is time to reclaim the Church’s rightful position in society as the Oracle of Purity. We need to proclaim the benefits of sex within marriage, the joy of purity, and cease the striving and distortion that society’s view of sexuality creates.
God invented sex – and He invented the Rules about it. We cannot keep ignoring our corporate obligation to society and worse, to our youth (in age and Christianity) without heaping coals in our own lap.
And at this rate, the fire is already kindling.
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