Discipline

At the Y today, I overheard a Mother and Daughter conversation.

D:  Can I have her come over and stay over night?
M:  No, you didn't clean your room like I asked.  So, no friends over.
D: I promise I will clean it when she leaves.
M: I don't think so.
D: And if I don't then I would lose my TV privileges for 18 months, my phone privileges for 3 months, my X-Box privileges for 6 months and no friend over for a month.
M: (Silence)

I'm not sure how the conversation ended, if the Daughter got her way or not, but it highlighted an important conflict in parenting: Consistency.  Do you follow through with what you threatened? Compromise? Or Cave?

I've already fallen into this trap - where I've told a child not to do something and then the child does it.  Following through is sometimes the last thing I want to do!  For example, I have problems with one child who is a beast to the babysitter (it doesn't matter which one) when it is time for bed.  So, the child was advised that the next time it happened, bedtime would happen before I left the house - even if it was still light outside.  For a few weeks, this threat worked.  But then the child pulled the same old crying, temper tantrum for the sitter.  This week, the child was in bed by 6:30 p.m., before I left the house.  I've already heard that it wasn't much fun, so we'll see if I have to do it again in the future or not (I think it is very likely I will have to do it again!).  I'm hopeful that if I am consistent in doing what I say I will do, the children will not think my if you do this, then that will happen are idle words.

This doesn't mean that I don't struggle with it.  Giving in seems so easy.  But then I see children throwing temper tantrums in the stores and realize I don't want to live that way.