So, after I learned of the potential problems with my independent adoption from Haiti, I have been looking at strategies to fix the problem.
1. I can hire an agency to continue the Haiti adoption. This solution will likely cost considerably more, although I have found a couple agencies that may cost minimally more than I originally planned. The downside is that these agencies do not work with the orphanage that I had wanted use for the adoption.
2. I can hire an agency and look at another country. I have a soft spot in my heart for Haiti, but I also like the looks of several other countries. Since I started this search, China has reopened to singles. India, the Congo, Burundi, Ecuador, and others are possibilities.
3. I have not confirmed from the orphanage what their new policy will be, but hope that I find out more next week.
4. I could just do foster care and try to adopt that way (which was part of the plan anyway).
5. I could use the home study I have to do a domestic adoption. This significantly changes things. First, I was thinking a toddler aged child, not infant. The cost is about the same. Birthparents choose the adoptive parents in domestic adoption, so there is no guarantee of success. With this option, I could use the agency who did the home study. Costs seem to fluctuate more under this option than under international adoption.
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1 year ago
2 comments:
I hate to keep banging the foster care drum, but I can tell its the last option in your heart. I have 3 kids from Burundi in my home, and I didn't have to pay a big fee to get them - they pay me to take care of them. And yes, the 4 year old is absolutely adorable.
Second, you had one phrase in your post that made me think twice. In your final point you said, "...so there is no guarantee of success." My question to you would be, what is success? Because of the process, many end up with a feeling that success is getting a child in your home, but I would offer that success is defined as every child who needs a home finding the right home. And that may mean that parents who want to adopt don't get what they want. But in looking to adopt, I just like to remind people that the process of adoption is all about the child and not the adoptive parent. An adoptive parent filling a void in their life with a child is not success. A child without a family finding the perfect forever family is the true definition of success. Its a simple perspective shift but its important to have the proper viewpoint when life with the child becomes difficult.
Ryan,
I do want to do foster care, and if that leads to adoption, great.
I also feel that I may be called to adopt internationally - but maybe with your example, I can do it through foster care! :)
The guarantee of success I was talking about was through domestic adoption. As it is birthparent driven, it may be that I am never selected by a birthparent to parent a child.
With international adoption, if you qualify in both the US and the other country, you usually end up with a child (there are a few exceptions).
Neither of these things go to what you articulately pointed out, which is that the "fit" with the parent and child may not be good even with all those safeguards. It is here that the foster care system has an edge, as if things are not working for either parent or child, the system can provide an outlet.
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