The Trials of Parenthood: Feeding People

Generally, I like to cook.  I like to bake and I like to find new recipes.  However, since acquiring two kids, I find that this can be a very difficult process.

First, I have the food issues to deal with: the dislikes, the allergies and the lack of adventure to try new things. 

Next, I have to lack of time to prepare.  Many nights we have about an hour to cook and eat something before heading off to the next event.  I asked for a crockpot for Christmas and am finding it is a great thing - if I plan ahead.

Finally, I have the problem that the kids like the same things over and over again (one eats chicken nuggets as her only choice at any restaurant we go to), while I like a variety of things.  I'm fine with just fruit one meal and just veggies at another.  Tacos then spaghetti.  Cereal and grilled cheese.  But the girls like a steady diet of spaghetti, peanut butter and chicken nuggets.

At least I have found a great crockpot lasagna recipe that everyone likes and is willing to eat every couple weeks.  As long as I don't use anything too spicy!

Photos from Fall 2011

September, 2011.  This is the photo from my half marathon.  My cousin, Sandra is on my right.  Although I finished at 3:59, she finished around 2 to 2.5 hours.

We never did decide what the numbers were about, as I registered before she did, but she was a runner, and I designated as a walker.

September, 2011.  While in Vancouver, we saw this sign.  The funny part was that no one was obeying it as bikes zipped past on their way onto the island.

Summer, 2011.  Indy & Haty called a brief truce to sit on the couch together.  It is surprising that they both were relaxed enough to do this, as usually, Haty is trying to play with Indy by assaulting him.  Indy then screams like a baby and runs to hide.  Indy likes to hide on top of the bunk beds, because Haty is too scared to jump up there.

Labor Day, 2011.  We spent the weekend at the River with Sandra, Maddy, Grayson, Georgi, Greg, Michelle, Lance, Clay,  Aunt Robert & Billy. It was fun, but the weather was a bit cool.  Here we are using blankets on the boat because it was so cold!

September, 2011.  While in Bellingham, we walked on the pier.  Ironically, the half marathon track followed the pier, and the beginning of mile 11 was at the very end, as you exited it (not shown- it was uphill from here!).

October, 2011.  We rode the Boone & Scenic Valley Railroad.  It was a great weekend with beautiful leaves, warm weather and great views. 

An Iowan's Guide to the Iowa Caucuses

Tuesday will be the Iowa Caucuses.  The media horde has already descended upon our fair state, and it is difficult to avoid running into a candidate for the presidency.  The process draws the world's attention to my state, and I thought a few pointers may be in order.

What is a caucus?  The process differs between the parties.  This year, as President Obama will run as an incumbant, there will be very small Democratic party caucuses.  The real show will be on the Republican side.  Caucuses take place in schools, churches, garages, among other places.  Typically, the process lasts about an hour or two.  At the end, the caucus (usually by majority vote), determines who their precinct will support for President.  In the Republican process, this can be pro rated between the various candidates.  Nominees are also selected to attend the state convention and sometimes planks in the party's platform are debated.

Iowans like to "fool" pollsters:  Some think it is impolite to be asked which candidate they are supporting. Voting is, after all, a private affair.  So they will tell pollsters every candidate but the one they are actually supporting when asked.  Believe me, after the 22nd call in a week asking about issues and candidates, even the most honest person would grow weary and mischievous.  It also serves to help perpetuate the "Iowa Surprise" myth. 

Iowans Yearn for the Political Ads to Stop:  Many people exclaim that they can't wait for the seed corn and pesticide commercials to start again.  The constant barrage of negative ads and issue related commercials take their toll.  In non-election years, these ads are routinely distained and ridiculed.  In election years, we view them with nostalgia and warm feelings.  Who doesn't want to see little cutworms smashed to smithereens in 3D?

It's a bit Overwhelming:  Having to pick the perfect candidate out can be daunting.  Each one has strengths and weaknesses that must be weighed. While Iowa does not get the last word, it gets the first one, and that can lead to candidates dropping out.  That adds a lot of pressure to the process.  Iowans know that and try to honestly work through the process.

So, while I haven't decided what to do on Tuesday, I'm sure that by Tuesday evening the media will have declared a winner and moved on.

Katy Perry & Russell Brand: Another case for a Pre-Nup

This week comedian Russell Brand filed for divorce from pop star Katy Perry.  The two have been married for approximately 14 months. 

Although both were celebrities before the marriage, and had accumulated money, real estate and other items, there was no pre-nuptial agreement between them.  Add to this the fact that Brand is an admitted recovering drug and sex addict and Perry is a (Christian?) party girl and one wonders what these people were thinking by getting married without an agreement on how things would go when/if they split.

In a similar situation this week, Mel Gibson paid his ex-wife over around $425 million, as there was no pre-nup.  Paul McCartney and Heather Mills, Michael Jordan and his ex-wife Juanita, Madonna and Guy Ritchie.  The list goes on and on of people who gamble big at love, marriage and finances and lose big.  At least these (rich) people have the guidance of attorneys, accountants, managers and executives to advise them to get a pre-nup, whereas the average person does not.

But, the reality is that most couples need to consider how the break-up would go.  People who need pre-nups are those who have assets (no matter how small), those who owe money (cars, student loans, mortgages etc), those who have children or plan to have children, and those who plan to acquire things (cars, houses, credit cards) during the marriage.  In short, everyone.

Planning for a break-up does not doom the relationship to failure.  If it is going to fail, it will fail on its own over money, sex, family, children, lack of attention, or any of a thousand other reasons.  All failing to plan does is prevent both parties from adequately preparing for the future.  Instead of waiting for a court to determine who gets what or how much one party will pay another, the couple knows how things will be divided (or have an approximation).

Pre-nups also force couples to consider the devastating consequences of divorce before the wedding.  It may be enough to encourage those hard conversations on children, work, religion, politics, family and money before the wedding, not after it.  Pre-nups require honesty in each person's financial situation as it exists prior to marriage.

Alas, it is too late for Perry & Brand, the Gibsons and McCartney.  They will have to fight it out in court over each and every dime.

Fortunately, this year also saw Kim Kardashian insist on a pre-nup, which came in very handy when her marriage collapsed after just 72 days.  At least she had some good financial advice.

Repacking the Christmas Tree

I spent a chunk of today taking down the Christmas tree, cleaning up the dead needles and repacking all the Christmas decor.  Fortunately, this year, I had help.  But, as usual, what used to fit into one box now does not, and some of the items that had boxes, now seem to be missing packaging.  The missing boxes will probably show up in time for Easter.

I am always amazed at how much Christmas stuff accumulates through the season.  Just when I think I have it all put away, another thing appears to be put away. This year, I have advent presents to add to the mix (we still have an ongoing argument about who gets what). 

Merry Christmas!

Today at the Christmas service, the pastor, after announcing the birth of a baby,  commented on how the congregation should consider the people who have become first time parents this year.  My oldest (foster) daughter remarked to me that he was talking about me!

I had not considered this, but it is true - I am a first time parent.  A parent of a 12 year old and a soon-to-be 5 year old.  Somehow skipping over the midnight changings, diapers and learning to walk and talk didn't make things that much easier.  I still have to think about what I want these children to learn and how I want to reflect a living faith.

It strikes me on Christmas that in the midst of gift-giving and the excitement of family, get-togethers, and good food, that while memorable, it is in the day to day living that true impact is made.  I can preach about loving Jesus, but if my daily life doesn't show a dependence on Him, it may all be for naught.  I can't honor Jesus' birthday in an effective manner if I don't walk the walk the rest of the year.

At times this all feels overwhelming, trying to raise wise, independent, healthy and mature kids who love Jesus.  But it can be done if I focus on the important, eternal things and not the things that will not matter.

Gift Giving Dilemmas

Christmas can be a tough holiday to navigate: we have expectations of ourselves, others and how the holiday should go. 

One part of the equation is gift giving.  While I love giving people things, I hate having to figure out how much and what to give people.  It seems like every year, I'm caught off guard by some acquaintance buying me a token gift.  I certainly appreciate the gesture and the time and effort put into buying me something.  But, I also find that I am then rushing around to reciprocate or feeling crummy for not having a gift for them with me. 

These gift giving dilemmas hit a new level this year with the pre-teen daughter.  She announced that she needed to buy gifts for 6 girls, then 10, then maybe 12.  And she had no idea how much to pay for each gift.  She wanted to buy each a candy bar, but wasn't sure what they were buying her. 

After several discussions about how I wasn't financing gifts for a dozen pre-teens (none of whom have an income), I informed her that if she thought that having a cost limit discussion was too embarrassing, she should wait until I forced her to return any gift she received that was more valuable than a candy bar.  She can't give a cheap gift and keep an expensive one.  This pushed her to discuss the matter with her friends, and then they all decided to draw names and set a monetary limit.  Crisis averted.

But that still leaves me with the surprise friend's gifts.  To solve this problem, I now buy small trinket gifts (decorative glassware items on deep discount) to give as gifts.  Some are even pre-wrapped with blank tags so I can give them on a moment's notice. 

Guess I need to follow my own advice and have these gift discussions before the holiday season.