Single Life, Dating & How do these people get my email address?

I just cleared out the spam email in my account.  I think at least 2/3 of the messages dealt with single / dating websites.

Now, I have in the past tried eharmony and a couple other sites, but nothing ever developed.  And I'm fairly certain it has been at least 3-4 years since I have logged onto one.  It seems my absence has drawn lots of looks by other singles, as every ad promised that someone had been searching for me.  This makes me laugh, since most of the websites are ones I have never logged into - so how did they find my picture or my name?

The most interesting one was the F@#$book, who sent several persistent messages.  I didn't open it to see what services were offered - although the title seemed to suggest what was the currency anyway.

One message heralded Facebook's new dating website, but I didn't bother to open it either.  I think Facebook already knows too much about me to add my dating life to it via their dating service.

I'd admit that I'm a bit interested in dating. But I also recognize that right now it is not the time with school, work, and parenting.  Maybe in the fall, I'll have more time (although that list is getting a bit long too).

New Year, New Goals

I don't like making New Year's Resolutions.  They seemed doomed to failure, at least for me.  I prefer to set out a few things I'd like to accomplish and learn during each new year.

Since I have been in seminary, I haven't set too many "learn new things" goals.  However, with graduation looming on the horizon, I have been thinking about what I should do.  I really would like to brush up on my piano playing and guitar playing.  Maybe it is time to pick up another instrument too.

I also need to continue working on my Greek and Hebrew.  And there are numerous books that I want to read.

This year, I'd like to add more exercise to my routine.  I'm not doing too well with this right now, but I'm hopeful that I can get into the swing of it soon.

It's Been a Long time...

I have not posted a blog for a while.  In part, because I have been busy.  There have been a few changes around here.

First, I have a new job, which I really enjoy.  It has been a learning curve, but I think that things are coming together well.

The girls are done with their first semester of school.  Little One is in Kindergarten and LOVES to read.  I can't believe how quickly she picks things up.  Teen is in 8th grade.  She tolerates it because it means she gets to see her friends.

Little One just started piano lessons this week.  She wants to practice 2 times a day - how long can I get this to last?

Teen has had several months of clarinet lessons and is doing well, despite her reluctance to follow through.  She'd quit in a minute, but we're trying to develop perseverance here.

On the agenda for the next year is to wrap up seminary - graduation is on June 1st.  And I'm trying to work on my eating habits and exercise.  I think I'm going to sign up for another half marathon, probably one of the disney ones.  Hopefully that will motivate me (although it did not last time)!

Commenting on Items

I have been hit with a big spam wave in the past couple weeks, so I have changed the comment settings to require registration.  Hopefully this stops the 100+ anonymous postings offering cheap prescription drugs!

7th Grade: Cellphone Necessity?

When the pre-teen moved in last August, I wasn't sure I was ready to parent a junior high student.  Even though the adoption was finalized last month, I'm still not sure I'm ready to parent a junior high student.  And one that is about to be 13 at that.

One of the things that surprised me was that every single classmate of hers has a cellphone (or at least that is what it seems like).  Some of them even have iPhones.  Naturally, the pre-teen wanted one desperately.  I said no, but gave it a lot of thought.

I decided she wasn't ready for one because she isn't responsible.  She loses things.  She doesn't understand phone etiquette, and doesn't really use the phone that often.  Her phone conversations last less than 5 minutes in most cases and are about nothing - "what are you doing?" "Nothing, what are you doing?"  Nearly everywhere she goes, the adult in charge has a cellphone, whether that is me, her grandparents, or her teachers.  In short, there are no compelling reasons why she needed one (aside from convenience if she needed to call me or I needed to call her - is that worth $50+ per month?).

Since I decided against a cellphone, I've been watching how her classmates use their cellphones.  I've determined that cellphones are used by junior highers primarily to bully one another.

Since the preteen uses my phone, it is the number that her friends have.  I've received several texts with insults, name-calling and other inappropriate content.  I've written back the offending child, and when I've known the parents, sent them a note regarding how their child is using the phone.  I don't think my pre-teen would do any better; in fact, I suspect she would be sending nasty texts along with these other girls - yet another reason she doesn't need a phone!

My strong responses seem to have cut the number of bad texts dramatically.  I doubt if the pre-teen had her own phone that these messages would have stopped; instead, I suspect there would have been more bullying that went on.

Junior high students do not have compelling reasons to be talking to each other.  Homework assignments are about their biggest issue.   Frankly, there has only been 1 phone call this entire school year about homework at my house.  And that was done because I forced the pre-teen to call a friend and ask about the assignment - not because of her own initiative.  Junior Highers spend 8 hours per day together at school, plus time at any sports, church or other activities after school.

I'm convinced that cellphones for junior high students are NOT a good idea.  There is no parental supervision and no one is held accountable for the things said.  In contrast, with the old landline system, who could say something vile to someone you didn't like when your mother, father, brother and dog were less than 5 feet away and the person on the other end was sitting in a room with their family.  Moms tended to kabosh those conversations immediately.

But with every kid having their own personal cellphone, parents don't know what is going on.

And worse, some don't care.

For the foreseeable future, the pre-teen will not be getting a phone.  I know there are times when it would be convenient, but then I remember those nasty texts and realize until she has a car and a license, she doesn't really need the cellphone.

Is Summer Here Yet?!?

During the month of May, my schedule slowly gets stripped away.  First, our church's mid-week children's program went on hiatus for the summer.  As much as I love (and the girls love) Wednesday nights at church, it is great to be done for a while.

I also finished up choir (I'm missing the concert tomorrow because of dance recital).  School sponsored sports are over, and dance will be done tomorrow night. In early June, my seminary classes will wrap up and I will have a few weeks before the classes start again for the summer session.

So, now I have long evenings to look forward to - in which I can ride bikes, walk and do other exercises (the pool opens soon).   Maybe I can get a few books read, a few scrapbook pages done, reorganize a few disasters in the house, and do nothing for a few days.

I figure it will be about Wednesday when we all feel bored...

Watching TV?

I read an article about Chelsea Clinton this week.  In it, she said that her parents did not let her watch more than 30 minutes of TV each day.  By the time she was in high school, she negotiated 1 hour - and could watch ER.

It got me thinking about how much TV we watch.  It actually isn't as much as I thought.  Most nights, the TV is never on, even after the girls go to bed.  I have too much reading for school to do, and find myself distracted.  On the weekends we watch more TV, but often it is NICK or Disney channel programs.

The preteen would like to watch some reality tv programs.  Her current must-watch is Dance Moms because she thinks grown women bickering, yelling and insulting each other is funny.  I told her that given that she has a problem controlling her temper and saying things to people in the heat of the moment, I didn't think watching it was a wise idea.  There are times she has an unhealthy fascination with drama and will create it.  I don't think reality TV will help her get over this, and likely will give her false ideas of how real people actually relate to each other.  So, it is on the do-not-watch-list.

So, as we move to summer, where we have more free time, I know I will need to keep track of how much time we are spending in front of the TV.